Former Premier League Referee David Coote Shares Struggles with Sexuality and Abuse
Former Premier League referee David Coote recently opened up about his hidden sexuality and the challenges he faced during his career. Coote, 42, acknowledged that he concealed his sexual orientation due to the fear of facing abuse for being gay. The pressure of his work as a referee ultimately contributed to his dismissal by the Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL) in December.
Coote’s revelations came to light in an exclusive interview with the Sun, where he candidly admitted, “I’m gay and I have struggled with feeling proud of being ‘me’ over a long period of time.” The abuse he endured during his time as a referee only intensified his fears, making it difficult for him to come out.
The former referee officiated more than 100 top-flight games before his dismissal, but the emotional toll of hiding his sexuality weighed heavily on him. Coote recalled feeling a “deep sense of shame” during his teenage years, only disclosing his sexuality to his parents at 21 and his friends at 25. Reflecting on his journey, he emphasized, “My sexuality isn’t the only reason that led me to be in that position.”
Amidst Coote’s personal struggles, the Sun reported that police are investigating threats and abuse directed at referee Michael Oliver following a recent match. Coote shared that he himself received death threats during his career, even targeting his late mother. The severity of these threats prompted him to install an accelerated response tag at his home address for emergency purposes.
The challenges Coote faced extended beyond his sexuality, as he grappled with personal tragedies and the demanding nature of his role. Following the sudden death of his mother in 2023 and his uncle’s diagnosis with motor neurone disease, Coote officiated over 90 games in the 2023-24 season, including the European Championship and the Olympics. The physical and psychological demands of his work took a toll on his well-being, culminating in his dismissal.
Coote’s journey also involved public scrutiny, as allegations surfaced regarding his conduct, including derogatory comments about Liverpool and a video purportedly showing him using drugs. Acknowledging his past mistakes, Coote expressed regret over his actions and sought therapy to address his struggles. He urged others in similar situations to seek help and not bottle up their emotions, emphasizing the importance of mental well-being.
As Coote continues to navigate the aftermath of his revelations, he remains committed to personal growth and self-improvement. His story serves as a reminder of the challenges faced by individuals in professional sports and the importance of mental health support. If you or someone you know is struggling with similar issues, resources such as the BBC’s Action Line are available to provide information and support on addiction.
